It has been 6 months of ups and downs in Africa, but God is faithful. I admit I have struggled many times with my identity as a daughter of the King, as a wife, as a mother, as a friend. The past 5 years I have discovered the amazing, beautiful, resilient person God has created me to be...not because of me, but because of all He has done and is doing. I chose to boast in Him and His ways...to believe He changes the environment when I walk in the room as He lives furiously in me and through me. How do you live out life under a microscope, under others expectations? This past week I came to terms that I had let the fear of man, the false expectation of man, consume my identity to the point of tears and suffering. BUT GOD! He was there waiting for me. I was stuck in the mud on this journey He has blessed me with, and He was there in the still of it holding me. Then last night He spoke to me in the darkness of the night as I slept, He spoke to me in the deepness of my spirit. I had a dream that I was going to the Olympics!!! I dream a lot about water...since I was little...most times I am deathly afraid of it, to get in it, surrounded by it, it engulfs me, it takes my children from me. In reality, I am not a good swimmer. In my dream I was surrounded by pools...not afraid but never got in. Next thing I knew I was in an elevator going up and those around me were starting at me...I felt an incredible presence, and I knew it was God. I felt peace as they stared at me. I looked down at myself and saw I was wearing all white...white running pants, white running shoes, a white hoodie and on the left pocket area of my hoodie was the word OLYMPIAN in dark print. I quickly realized I was going to the Olympics! I then found myself next to an Olympic size pool...I felt great humility as I was kneeling down at the edge, dipping my hands in the water. A lady approached me, and I felt the care and love overflowing from her spirit. She began to speak to me as I started our lesson. She inquired, "You are an Olympian, what area did you qualify in?" I could feel the joy, patience, kindness...all the fruits of the Spirit rising up in me as I answered with calm confidence and utter amazement..."In swimming." In my mind I was thinking in the dream but yet vividly...Lord I never even got in the water, I do not swim well, how am I going to the Olympics? I felt so much peace, so much joy...it was tangible just as the living water running through my hands. Then I woke up...
I woke up feeling renewed, reconciled to who I really am...I am His and He lives furiously in me and through me. He spoke to me as I asked Him what this dream meant...He said it is not a dream, it is your life...the life I have gifted you with when my only Son gave up His life. God has the victory! He qualifies me for the greatness in my life...not by my strength or my skills but by His Spirit. He qualifies us and He calls us...not by the judgment of man, man's expectations or rules but by His love for me. We represent Him, He washes us clean and clothes us in righteousness. I am qualified in Christ, called to His ministry and appointed to His work!
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