Suffering, Joy, Salvation...

The Lord has been preparing me these last few weeks to teach, preach....whatever you like to say women do at church when they talk about Jesus, His love, and His Word up in front like the pastor usually does. That could be an entirely different blog. :) The three words that have consistently been in my readings, my current experiences and in my family's journey are Suffering, Joy and Salvation. Jesus suffered for us all because we were His joy and His gift to us was and is Salvation. What do we do with our suffering? Someone once said, "Suffering is always an opportunity for grace but only after it has been picked up and embraced. The real goal of life is to keep expanding the heart, to grow it outward, for the life of the world." I am thankful Jesus embraced death and the cross fully so I could have eternal life. God has also spoken many times this week about the faith of Abraham, the promises, the covenants, and the ultimate covenant of Jesus. All these readings and reflections just to remind me that He is good.....He is good ALL the time. How will we sacrifice? How will we be love in action? How will we embrace another's suffering knowing it will bring them great joy?

God has reminded me this evening of my words to Him in a journal entry I wrote before the day I moved in with my dying mother to care for her.  I see His right hand this day fulfilling my prayer as Gideon called me into his room two nights ago and this was our discussion...

"Mama, you know who I want to be like?"

"No Gideon, tell me."

"I want to be like Jesus." I lied down next to him and looked into his eyes... "What does that mean Gideon, describe what that looks like?"

"Well Jesus did lots of things, He created the world..."

"What else Gideon, what else would you like to do?"

"I want to raise people from the dead, love them and heal them."

Just as simple as that Gideon knew in his spirit....why? Because Jesus is already living in Gideon through Holy Spirit! Gideon has the heart of His Abba, His Heavenly Father.

And this is my journal entry from 5/8/12...

"Tomorrow I begin a new journey as I take time to be with my mama-sacrifice my life as she loses hers. Today I trust You Lord, I trust You to hold me, give me rest in the long suffering, that I will be Your hands and feet. Lord, hold my family, my little guys in Your right hand-comfort them and speak to them each day-even Gideon at 3 years old-beckon him to Your heart. Speak to them as they grow to be men that love You. You remind me that my faith can be as Abraham and Paul-they moved in action as God asked because He would do as He promised. I stand in that faith and the love of my Abba Father-thank You Jesus."

Beauty for ashes....there is always a great exchange. My mama's physical life and in return her grandchildren's great faith and their eternal life...

Expectations...

I have learned over the last 4 years that I cannot place expectations on others, on my relationships. This has brought me great freedom. I like you all have lost dear friends because of expectations. We all want to be "peacekeepers" but it takes great humility to be "peacemakers". To admit we have chinks in our armor as my dear friend De Landgraf says. I was able to care for my dying parents and many others in need because of no expectations.... was it easy, no.....was it worth it , yes....because we are all worth it. You do not abandon people because you once were abandoned. You love people because deep inside they know Love and when you love them they recognize the Maker of that Love. My identity is Christ, My future is Christ, My healing is Christ, My reality is Christ. Suffering and Joy will continue to journey together with me as I live out the Kingdom. We are to walk as Jesus after all and if you read the Word He continually walked through Joy and Suffering but did so with Power and Authority. If you look through the eyes of our Abba at people, you are going to feel their suffering and grief like their Daddy. God cannot disappoint us as He is only good.....We cannot place expectations on Him that are not true of His character and His promises.... The reality is He shed His blood for all of us and we all belong to Him.....you may not believe it but it does not change the truth. You are precious, blameless and royalty because you belong to Him. We are in covenant.....We are His joy...We are His love.